I stated in a previous post that many people see a DIVA as a bitch and what many define that as amuses me. Do DIVA's have girlfriends? Well we have encountered many women in out lives but few are genuine enough to consider a true rider, but a woman who is there for everything, critical when necessary and empowered to do her own thing. Oh I have been fooled trust me but when you become a true DIVASAURUS your eyes are opened to a lot more than pretty flowers and kind words. I started to watch more than talk and it ultimately revealed a lot to me regarding these friendships.
Lets take a so called friendship I have with someone and evaluate it. I will leave names out because less drama makes my day easier! Don't you agree? She has been my girl per se since day one and always around when things started to fall down but slowly as I became the tyrannosaurus rex she started to back away. Her support for me started to diminish. Whay was that I began to ask myself was it because my accomplishments forced her to look at her life? Did my popularity question who she really was? I certainly think that was the issue, but I played the part until she spilled the beans all by herself. And now I know for sure that she was never a true friend only a homegirl who liked drama and now that I am drama free she has disappeared in the wind!
Ok, I am one who tries to solve all things but this I don't get. Why don't women like other women? Comedians say it often but its really not a joking matter. In my professional journey I have meet wonderful women who to this day support everything I do no matter how outlandish it may seem. They are an exception and they are professional contacts so there is a difference, I would not call them when I need to cry right? RIGHT so I am talking about real friends you can call on where are they at?
Must I relay on professional women to support me all the time? I have to find a way to get these untrusting girlfriends to release the hate and be real.
And to be honest and not jump around I find it bad that even many young professional women cannot connect without fear of outshine. Me I am cool if you are doing great things YOU GO GIRL! SO AM I!!! You are not better nor are you trying to be what I am well at least you should not try because its impossible. I state it firmly that all women should empower one another it is our CIVIL DUTY.
July 23, 2008
Friends and the Bitch
Posted by Original Designer Woman at 10:25 AM
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1 comments:
Life is a self-esteem game (wonder if you've ever heard that before)
people do not associate with people with much higher or much lower self esteems than them.
it would make things.. weird.
so if you were (are) two miserable people, it's going to seem comfy.
Now when one starts to feel better and make moves.. it brings a discomfort.
And your relationship cannot continue w/o the person ascending falling back (crabs in a barrel)
or the person seeing the example of ascension and rising up...
unfortunately, negative in this world is automatic. it's all around us. it's easy.
and staying where you are and coming up with reasons why
is a lot easier than saying I'm not where I want to be, damn this, let's get something going.
and that's where friction comes into a relationship where people are going in different directions.
now.
re: women
as emotional creatures, this life, especially in the U.S., is geared towards your insecurities.
About if you'll marry, if you'll have kids, if a man will love you, if you're pretty enough for him, if you house is better than your co-workers, etc.
so that insecurity leads to a need to "shine" as opposed to being inwardly confident.
there's more than enough for everyone, but there's a notion that SHE is your comp. and if you don't get him, SHE will. If you don't get the corner office SHE will. If you don't lose the weight SHE'll get that dress.
and all it does is perpetuate the insecurity that makes the american woman the worlds largest economy.
so you keep doing you and waking up and going to sleep knowing what works for you.
and rest assured you're not the only person who thinks the way you do.
if so, everyone would be a diva and you wouldn't stand out the way you do.
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